We've all heard the myth that crows are bad luck, and maybe some of us have believed it. I remember I did when I was twelve. However, I recently stumbled across the notion that one can tell different events in your future by the number of crows you happen to see. This idea of crows being "omens" is largely rejected these days, at least that's the hope. Naturally, there's no evidence for the presence of a bird and its relatives being able to change anyone's fate, but it's also no secret that people believe things without evidence all the time. So, are we surprised?
But what might one expect from an encounter with these obsidian avians? Well, fortunately, there are handy little ditties to keep you up to date:
"One crow is bad, two is luck, three is health,
four is wealth, five is sickness, and six is death."
And there's an alternate version I found floating around that goes a little something like this:
"One for sorrow, two for mirth,
three for a funeral, and four for birth."
Riveting, isn't it? And it definitely looks better italicized, but I just have so many unanswered questions. In both versions, the first two are largely the same. "One crow is bad, one crow is sorrow." And "Two crows is luck, two crows is mirth," which aren't exactly the same thing, but close enough; mirth is "amusement, especially as expressed in laughter." - Oxford Dictionary of English.
Of course, "health" and "funerals" are quite incompatible, and the ties between "wealth" and "birth" are loose at best. So, how does a skeptic like me begin to tell which ditty is correct? Should I be happy when I see three crows, or should I be scared of that feathery trio? The guidelines only go up to twelve in the most detailed version, which begs the question: what happens if I see more than twelve? Or what happens if I don't accept the version that goes all the way up to twelve? Maybe I only want to go up to six? But then what happens if I see twelve? If six is death, would twelve be two deaths? Would eighteen be three deaths? If two is mirth, and three is a funeral, maybe five is a funeral that I'm just super ecstatic about? Shit, what's a guy like me to do without a proper method of discerning which of these legends—if any—are true?
And how does one know when to stop counting? Do I have to see them all at once, or does it count if I see them over the course of several minutes? If I see five crows ("sickness"), and then three crows ("health") a moment later, do they just cancel each other out, or will I just get an upset tummy? If I see twenty crows, does that count as four fives, or five fours? How do I know whether that means five "wealth" omens, or four "sickness" omens? I could go on, but what sort of endless combinations are there?
And do the crows know what they're talking about? Can the crows see my future, and do they have to tell the truth, or can they just fuck with me? Maybe I have a streak of good luck coming, and they decide to prank me by appearing in sets of five? I've interacted with crows before, they can be such assholes sometimes. Why should I trust them?
I. HAVE. QUESTIONS.
You can view a comprehensive list of the many opinions people have deigned to grant to us about what the numbers mean right here: https://7thcrow.com/crows.html
But I warn you, you'll leave with way more questions than answers. Frankly, the whole concept is asinine. If anyone with the secrets of the birdies wants to send me and my readers an explanation, you can reach me ideally at: https://twitter.com/JayEliMaurice
Anyway, thanks for reading. Stay skeptical, everyone.
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